by Vicki Kriner

It’s the most common question I hear at a pleasure party; “I love this one!  I want it!  But how do I introduce it to my husband / wife / boyfriend / girlfriend?”

Let’s face it – talking about sex may not be as taboo as it once was, but somehow many of us still feel squeamish when it comes to asking our partner to try something new.   Whether it’s the fear making a partner feel inadequate, unease about having your request rejected, or simply the apprehension of introducing something new into a relationship, many clients ask the same question.

There are a lot of ways to bring new spice and excitement into your love life, and introducing a vibrator is one of them!  Most women require clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, and simply cannot climax through intercourse alone.  Additionally, the time a woman may need to come varies from person to person – and even from day to day!  Luckily there are many vibrator styles available, and many of them are even small enough for use during intercourse.

One of the most simple and innocuous looking vibrators available is a Bath Ball, a Bath Heart, or a more whimsical toy like I Rub My Duckie.  Both bath sponges and the “duckie” look very innocent, but produce strong, waterproof vibration.  One way to introduce your partner to the joys of a vibrator involves setting up a romantic bath, with candles, soft music, scented bath oils or bubble bath – and of course your vibrating bath toys! 

Try inviting your partner in to share this seductive bath with you, and introduce the vibrating bath sponge by whispering “I have a special treat for us.”  Then run the soapy vibrating toy over tired shoulders or aching neck.  People tend to return to and repeat pleasurable experiences, so moving slow and taking the time to

If you both enjoy massage you can employ this same method of introduction with a massage mitt and waterproof vibrator, like the Tropical or Mini Magic One Touch, slipped inside.  This is fun for massage in or out of the bath!  If you use a massage mitt in the bath, be sure to use your favorite bubble bath or soap for comfort so the mitt glides smoothly across wet skin.  If you use your mitt with a massage oil or lotion, don’t forget that they may not be condom compatible!

If you don’t think that a surprise treat is the way to bring a sex toy into your love life, some erotic reading might help you start the conversation.  Why not pick up a spicy novel, and read the “hot parts” that include a sex toy aloud in bed one night?  You know, like you just “happened” to pick up this novel on the recommendation of a friend.  After a few sentences, ask your partner what he or she thinks of the passage, and if it sounds as interesting to him/her as it does to you. 

If the response seems positive, the next step would be to talk about the kind of sex toy or vibrator you would both like, or even do some online browsing together.  You may even use your new toy in a non-sexual manner with your partner the first few times, before you let it “wander” into the more erogenous zones.

If your partner does not respond positively to the idea of including a sex toy in your relationship, don’t push - that is the quickest way to ensure partner shut down!  You can gently approach the subject again at another time, or choose to enjoy a sex toy on your own.  However you do it, the trick is to start slow, and introduce the idea of including a vibrator in love-making in a non-threatening manner.  After all, you want to ensure an experience you will both enjoy.

Copyright 2007 www.scarletgirl.com

Vicki is a small business owner and sometime author with nearly two decades in the world of customer service, business building, and the general realm of helping others succeed.

She books Scarlet Girl shows and other lectures in Portland, OR and the San Francisco Bay Area of CA.  Her eclectic professional background runs the gamut from horse trainer, to mentor, and her greatest joy lies in finding solutions for clients, networking, and creating sustainable business growth.