Keeping Summer Sexy
By Kate Throckmorton
For many people, summer takes care of sexy all by itself.
It’s the season of bikinis, short shorts and steamy temperatures, and when we’re already dewey with perspiration, it’s an easy mental leap to start plotting other sweaty activities. This time of year, many singles find themselves vacationing on beaches or other exotic locales, sipping cool cocktails and flirting with the hotel staff. Sex seems to be everywhere and on everyone’s mind.
But for many others, it isn’t so simple. Summer also means no more school, and for mothers and fathers suddenly faced with kids at home for three months, it can be difficult to find time to fit sex in, or even to work up the desire. But keeping your sex life sexy doesn’t have to be a chore, and in fact there are lots of fun and easy ways to help summer crank up the heat.
1. Take care of yourself. One of the best ways to feel sexy and desirable is to eat well and exercise regularly. Exercise, even 30 minutes a day, boosts serotonin production in the brain, the feel-good chemical, as well as upping your confidence level. When we feel sexy and confident, we want to share that feeling with others, perhaps with a different kind of workout…
2. Flirt. Once the relationship is off the ground, we tend to forget just how sexy flirting is, as if it were only a means to an end – the relationship – and not something exciting and sexy on its own. When he’s not expecting it, sidle up behind him and whisper in his ear just what it is he does to you…then walk away. Drop a few coy comments over dinner and wait for your partner to return the favor.
3. Try new things. No surprises here; this is a great way to get things going. That erotic board game you’ve been wanting to play but haven’t had time for yet? Break it out when the kids are asleep. Roll some sexy dice and do what they say, or, if you’re feeling adventurous, introduce him to the toy you usually keep for solo moments.
4. Switch Roles. If your partner is usually the one to initiate sex, make sure you’re the one to get things going this time. A sensual massage in the middle of watching television, or surprising them in the shower, will be so unexpected it just might give you that first-time thrill!
5. Talk to each other. This one may seem like a no-brainer, but communication is key in any relationship. If your partner is feeling too worn out for sex by the end of the day, let them say that. Perhaps ask if you can help them in any way; take on the laundry, for instance, or the grocery shopping, to alleviate some of the burden. When we feel appreciated, we are much more likely to respond favorably to sexual advances, rather than viewing them as another task expected of us.
Sex doesn’t have to be a daily occurrence in order to have a fulfilling relationship; nor does all the fun go out of life once we leave the singles scene. Having someone there when we go to sleep at night, and again to wake up to, is far more appealing to some than serial dating. Some times it just isn’t the right time for sex, and we cannot force ourselves to be in the mood if we’re not ready. You have to want to want to be in the mood.
However, for those times when sex seems to be lacking, there are indeed ways to bring it back. Before you know it, you’ll be giving summer a run for it's money.
Author, Kate Duttera, is a freelance writer living in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband, their two kids, two ridiculous cats, and an incredibly robust goldfish. You can find her online at KateDuttera.com.